I am tired...

I am tired... of listening to people

of listening to their complaints

of facing their fake face

of receiving so much hate

of my unfavorable fate

I am tired...

of not being appreciated for what I do

but being criticized

for what's left undo

of giving people a lot

but feeling like having fall short

I am tired...

of not getting what I deserve

of not getting my share of love

I am tired...

of getting attached to people

of separating, which is so lethal

I am tired...

tired of getting tired

of feeling so uninspired

I was meek

I was meek

I loved... 

And lived my life

Only unless I became a wife

The day I always dreamt of

Hoping life would take a turn on

That day...

Life actually took a turn

But to make me handicapped

To bestow me with a life

I could not govern

'twas my first night

My dreams just a few

But akin to many of you

I couldn't hold even one of 'em true

I was pretty.. Enough

He was extremely tough

He was intolerant

And did nothing fair, but made me pregnant

A year passed

With a son I got blessed

Nothing changed,

he was more strange

"How dare your son tore a page", he drummed...

"He is just a child...."

Was enough... And I got bumped

It was 14 years

I had nothing, but tears

I held on

I still do

14 to 35 .. But for him

All these years

Were just a few

I still am meek

Over all the years, I could nothing seek

I got hit... I still get

Like before, I am silent

For I am helpless

I chose the life of mess

I am a woman

I cannot complain

A woman so meek

A woman married to a freak!

Some Relations So Pure

One day,

       I was alone

The next day..

       Not loneliness-prone

You were at the door

To give me assure

That you’re there

I’m alone no more

I never had before

But realized then..

Not only blood-relations are yours

Some people sent from heaven

Some relations so pure

Support you gave

Hands you held

Never let me bend

Injuries you mend

Trust was back

Failings received smack

Laughter came popping

Worries I could pack.

When You Look Back

It’s The You That’s Not You

It’s not the distance

          But the distance between us (two hearts)

It’s not the time

          But the time you can’t make (for me) 

It’s not the struggle

          But the struggle to make you stay (like ever before)

It’s not the changes

          But the change over time in you (you promised never will be)

It’s not the hard-work

          But the hard you’ve made it to work out (the relationship)

It’s not the fight

          But the fight to let go (you)

It’s not the solitude

          But the loneliness in your presence (that's felt)

It’s not the harsh life

          But the harsh words you say (in frustration)

It’s not the failure

          But the failure to be the same (as afore)

It’s not the love

          But the love that’s not for me (that was)

It’s not you

           But a newer you (I never hoped)

…… that hurts

Omnipresent

When Omnipresent is Absent

This World delves in

To pursuit it

To seize it

To win it

And, to preserve it

A teeny-weeny ant

A giant elephant

An older being

Or an infant

-          Its in the genera

Mum gives birth to it

She shows and throws

Splashes, long as life

One grows and knows

And wants to dive

In scolds it holds

In chills and shrills

Deep down the sea

Of beautiful heart of everybody

A brother’s fight

A sister’s plight

A father’s tolerance

They all shed light; it’s here

And, the future’s bright

It’s ubiquitous

But when missing

It blurs the sight

Leaves numerous marks

With everything blight

You talk for it

You walk for it

And eventually

Escape from it

True – It is still showered

With material obsession but

It is overpowered

Self-motives win

Add to sins

You still dream of dove

Perhaps, when you don’t deserve

When you forget

To Embrace first, and give love

Yes! It’s love

Nowhere

You are Nowhere..

Yes! You are near

But you are not

Yes! You are far
Yet, you are not

This is the phase

You are needed the most

And this is the time

You are nowhere and lost

I cry for you

O yes! I do

But no one cares

Why there’s hullabaloo

Vows – they break

But then, why make?

You say, retry

Tell me just once

Once again, why?

You said you are there

I can’t find you, where?

You are nowhere and lost

The time when

You are needed the most

With every harsh word

You try and make me strong

But let me warn

Make sure you’re not wrong

Strong, not tough to be

Nor do I doubt thee

But does that mean

Never being easy?

Time’s changed

Turning me insane

Do you care?

Or who else is here?

Nothing to opt

Life is all chopped

You still are nowhere, you’re lost

Though, you were needed the most

DAD! You are missed!!

DAD! You are missed!!

I don’t know how it could have felt

Like a spark that ignited

Or an ice that melt

When you could have kissed for first

Your first gal, after her birth

You held her in your protective arms

And gave that ‘Fatherly’ warmth

You lifter her and made to sit on shoulder

To give her everything, before she could get older

You must have embraced her

A million times

For her, you must have been

What you always were – A doctrine

She grew, you grew

And days spent with, till then

Still were very few

She put her first step into school

You picked and drop, happily

Serving the long distances, with the expensive fuel

You helped her in her homework

And prepared milk before her school

Always ate up the murk

Gave her freedom, made no rule

Days passed, so did years

You were the one

To overcome all fears

You gave all joy

Bought her all toys

And when mom scolded

Your little gal cried

You wiped her tear, comforted her

And there n then

Reversed her gear

In the midst sometime

Two beautiful real toys you gave

‘Lil’ sis and younger ‘bro’

So together, we all could grow

I still remember

We wished and you got

Got us everything

May or not in our lot

You went out of pockets, Daddy!

But none of us were aware

That we were going stodgy

And you were keeping it in heart, there!

The littles were schooling

The bigger stepped in to college

She hesitated from calling

And youngs kept enthralling

But, no matter what

Your big gal’s favourite were you

And mom, sis, bro

We all remember you

Why did you leave us?

You disrupted our chorus

Yes! When you left forever

I did not want to breathe, never!

But never you upturned

Since you changed your path

You chose your way to heaven

That with choice, one never hath

Though, Ur lil gal, now grown up

Has made her move in life on

She sometimes lose and gets so pissed

‘Coz dad! U r always missed!

Your place, one can never take

If we could think so

It’s our mistake

It was you, it will be you

Who made our life

Who will continue to make.

The Uncurbed Wings of Time

Everything is changed, nothing is same
When still you gaze
Nothing would amaze

Silence pervaded all around

Made hum, with no sound

Ears Yearned to listen

Voice that could spellbound

Tarrying - No Big Deal
Arduous - Making Appeal

Time - Forever Continuing Wheel

Easing Sometimes, Turning Noxious

Answer - Who Could Heal?

See me When I'm hurt

I turn mad when you simply blurt

At heart, I enunciate

Your words are reflecting hate

So long, I gape the gate

So hard, but u'r too late

Escapism you like to play

But listen!
Don't hold me at bay

I could not bear you far away

Why? Why are you leaving... Hey?

Turn around! You were adorable

We are shaken, I'm broken,

We were stable

With time, feelings deepen

Wait! Something's wrong..

No! Why has all gone detestable?

I might end up offending

You too may be replicating

Oh! Help! 

Reality May not be Fibbing

Dander already is alternating

Last time it transpired

Likely some had conspired

What is behind recurrence

Stop! Stop! Stop!

I'm all too tired.

Don't repeat I beg

Its your time, 

Mine already took too far

Now Further, I may not trek!

You said, you'll stay

You have gone off far

Time Changed, Now realized

Nothing amazed, But I Cried

Things are same, at par

Things have changed, so far...

Have a look on a first attempt of mine.. and share ur views..

Being! Is it?

Favourite!! No, she’s not
neither a friend’s, nor the family’s

Jus’ a spot

On all the lilies

Playful ‘n’ smiling

Words that defined her

Vanished to roots

As people had refined her

Was loved and she loved

But then was made to cry

She continued to love

Then again failed her try

Came shadow making her go blind

Time ‘n’ again it was outshined

Bore agony as she could

But Light again seemed to dine

She now grew harsh

Though love was amass

Words had turned rude

As a gal raped, made nude

Mother! O mother! Called she

Wishing to share dismay ‘n’ glee

But nothing was what, she got to hear

As mother of hers was too busy

Then came across her brains

Were her siblings’ blames

And love and laughter

And childhood failures and gains

She summoned her ‘sis’

Who asked, ‘Don’t piss’

She gave ‘bro’ a kiss

He shouted, ‘What’s this?’

Father! O my heavenly Father!

Then she yelled

Heard again was ‘nothing’

With tears then, her eyes were filled

Was love what all she sifted

But pain what was gifted

Attempts to lovingly accept the same

But confidence had been lifted…